I've been doing a lot of thinking lately regarding where I see myself in 5-10 years. As I mentioned previously, I spoke to the owner of my company recently about moving up in the company. I've been in training with one of the women in the position I'm working toward, and she's been great. I'd even venture to say that we've become friends. I even spent the night at her place on Friday night. She introduced me to a friend of hers who used to be in our business but is now a consultant.

They are both probably 10 years older than me, which is why I'm thinking 10 years in advance. I'd love to be at a similar place in my life as these women, making $150k+ per year (not the woman training me, but her friend). I have a long way to go.

Another place I see myself in 10 years is married with a family. By my mid-thirties I would like to have one child of my own. My boyfriend already has a 5 year old boy. If things work out with us (which is always a possibility even though it's a new relationship), in 10 years his son will be 15--omg--and I guess I'd be a stepmom by that time. If I can have one little one of my own I will be happy with that.

Maybe I should watch the news more. Apparently the zodiac signs have been changed... for individuals who are born in 2009 and after if I understand correctly. Regardless, I'm still a Leo. Although my boyfriend's changed (I know it didn't really change but still) from a Taurus to an Aries.

The other day I was looking up our sign compatibility since I've never dated a Taurus before. The article I found was pretty accurate for the most part actually, and it taught me a lot about his sign as well.

The duo of Taurus and Leo needs to be adept at of compromise if they want their relationship to work. There is a major personality difference between the Bull and the Lion, which can cause trouble for both of them. The most prevalent characteristic of the Lion is her craving for attention, which contrasts with the reserved nature of the Bull. While the former always wants an audience to adore her, the Bull prefers company of only those few people who are close to him. The prudent ways of the Bull are also not likely to go well with the extravagant and magnanimous Leo.

Another point of difference between the two is that while a Taurean wishes for order and organization, the Lion is only impressed by the larger than life canvas. Since both are equally stubborn, when at two opposite ends, neither would succumb to let the other win. Being extremely rigid and inflexible, they need to learn tactfulness, diplomacy and flexibility to make their relationship work. The positive aspect of this love match is the attention which the Bull provides the Lion and, in return, is captivated by the alluring nature of the Leo. A Taurean also lets the Leo to take over the reign of his life, thus giving a boost to the latter's ego.

Taurus Man & Leo Woman Since both, a Taurus woman and a Leo man are stubborn and rigid; they need to mellow down a little to make things work. He is fond of being the talking point of every conversation and this boosts his ego. She would gladly let him have his extra share of attention and see his basking in the glory. However, the Leo man also must learn to give her space and pay a patient ear to her views and opinions as well. Cooperation holds the key to this relationship. The duo need not worry about loyalty, devotion, passion and romance, as both have plenty of each. As for other aspects, the pairing could work if both manage to find a middle ground.

Source: indiaserver.com

I guess there's no need for me to elaborate any. You know how the saying goes, "written in the stars"? I've always been a little skeptical of horoscopes and that sort of thing, but it's always amazed me how the zodiac signs are so accurate to everyone's personality traits. Lately I've been getting into tarot card readings and, to be honest, it freaks me out how accurate they seem to be.

The only part above that I don't agree with are that both of us are rigid and inflexible. On the contrary, we are both pretty laid back and easy going. One thing that Mr. Popularity pointed out to me was that when things don't go the way they are planned I get kind of irritated. Which is true, I have to admit. But give me 5 minutes, and we'll figure out something else to do.

Anyway. It looks promising... :)

I think it's safe to say I have a "new" best friend. Not to say that I have replaced any, because I still have a few girls that I can call my best friends. But I just gained another over the past few months. Her nickname at work is Big D so that's what I'll call her here. She is a lot like me in a lot of ways, so we compliment each other, but at the same time she has a really good insight and intuition that I feel like I can trust. This comes in handy when I need an objective opinion about something. She is a great listener, and also very blunt and open (she is a typical Sagittarius and I love it). It's really nice to have a good support system and have a mutual respect for each other.

Last night we went out to dinner, and tonight we cooked dinner together at my place. I confided to her that I'm somewhat hesitant of my new relationship with Work Guy. I feel like the last few days we've barely spoken and the past week we've barely seen each other. It's been getting a little frustrating. I'm not sure how he feels about it though, or if he even realizes.

Mr. Popularity texted me again tonight. I still haven't responded to him since the day we had our "closure talk" before New Years. It gives me anxiety every time he contacts me. I guess a part of me still misses him, but I'm pretty sure that's natural. I do miss being around him and I miss the good parts of our relationship. But I have to remind myself of the bad parts and that we are not compatible.

Maybe the reason I'm feeling this way is because he's practically throwing himself at me, while Work Guy has been kind of MIA. Maybe I just like the attention from Mr. Popularity. But I know I will feel guilty if I respond to him so I'm not going to. I can't. I won't allow myself to get caught up in that again. I have a good thing going.

I need to focus on my boyfriend and figure out why we've been so distant this week. Big D seems to think he's just overly cautious and judging from his past he probably realizes that I'm the best thing to come along for him in a long time and he just doesn't want to rush anything and mess up what we have. Because I think what we have right now is good. I just wish we could spend more time together. The whole work thing really puts a damper on that.

So for now I'll stick to being thankful for my thoughtful, considerate, and sexy boyfriend, and also for my Big D.

This time I'm not sure where to start. I guess I can start by saying I really like my boyfriend. In fact, I like him a lot. I've been getting this weird feeling lately though because my relationship with him is completely different than any relationship I've had before. He does things that make me kind of jealous sometimes, and I'm not a jealous person at all so of course I don't say anything to him about it. Because it really isn't a big deal. Right?

• He mentions his ex and how flat her boobs are (and mine are much bigger so that makes me self conscious because I feel like he likes smaller boobs - even though he tells me he loves mine and they're the perfect size??)
• He talks about K, our mutual female friend, that I guess he dated over the summer for a month or two. She has a boyfriend now but he has a tendency to bring her up every so often. Maybe because she's just a mutual friend and it's something to talk about, but I don't know. BTW she's also a bikini model.
• He visits his sister and K sometimes, who are friends and bartend together at a local strip club. Since we've been talking/dating, he's gone to their strip club 3 times. He invited me the first time and I declined. I went with him the 2nd time and we had a lot of fun. The 3rd time was a night that I invited him out with my coworkers as he was leaving from dinner at my house, he said no and he had to go to sleep, then he goes to the strip club while I'm downtown (I ended up at his house later in the night somehow and we were both drunk and had some drunken sex, but that's besides the point). He swears he only goes there to visit his sister.
• He spent the night at my house last night, we spent today together and had a great time, and of course great couch sex. He treated me to a nice lunch and part of our conversation consisted of him thinking he could start dancing at the Chippendales (he has an amazing body and is working on getting even bigger). I'm not sure if I could handle him dancing for other women and in essence him being the male version of the strippers at his sister's club... I'm pretty sure he wasn't being serious, but still.
• Today he left my house around 5 to go spend some time with his son. But then I never heard from him until about 30 minutes ago telling me he was downtown, after I had already read on facebook who he was out with.

I guess what bothers me the most about the first 2 bullet points is the other girls thing. I know he's not a cheater and I trust him. It's just weird to me to have him say stuff like, "Yeah she's hot" in front of me when I've never been around that before. Mr. Popularity and I had the general understanding that the past is the past and we could just focus on each other and not bring up other people.

The other thing that bothers me regarding the bottom bullet points is me being insecure. I haven't spent a lot of time with him lately, which also means not a lot of sex unfortunately. Today was the first day we'd had sex since Monday (today is Sunday). If you recall, this was a major problem between me and Mr. Popularity.

I don't know, maybe there's something wrong with me. But I like to have sex more often than once or twice a week. And when I don't get it, I equate it to not feeling wanted or desired. So when he makes choices to go out without me it makes me feel not wanted or not important, like he'd rather be with his friends or sisters than with me.

I also have to acknowledge the fact that it is still a new relationship and spending too much time together too fast could be a bad thing, and there's nothing wrong with taking things slow. But damn, I have some issues because I kind of feel that I like him more than he likes me. But on the other hand I tell myself to stop being retarded and he definitely likes me a lot.

He likes me enough to hide our relationship from everyone at work. At one point he was considering switching jobs (and I'm not going to lie, I was kind of hoping for that to make things easier on our relationship and go public). That's another post for another day though.

I finally did it. I let Mr. Popularity go. He spent the past few weeks emailing me. I didn't reply until he told me that his mom died. I felt awful, and I told him I'm here if he needs someone to talk to about it. Of course, that's not what he wanted to talk to me about. We emailed back and forth, and after a chain of about 10 emails back and forth, I thought we had some closure. Then Christmas came around and he started texting me again. I allowed him to call me on Christmas night. He told me how much he missed hearing my voice, etc. It was bittersweet talking to him again--it had been a month and a half since I had heard his voice.

However, I knew things with Work Guy were going too well for anything to get in the way. The day after Christmas, he and I officially became boyfriend and girlfriend!! He is just absolutely wonderful and treats me like a princess. He is so thoughtful and considerate, and we have such a good time together. I can honestly say I'm one lucky girl.

Mr. Popularity and I had our final conversation right before the new year. He wrote me a really nice, thoughtful email and he told me that he will always love me and he's ready to be the perfect boyfriend and he would marry me that day, right then and there if I'd let him. He told me I'm the only person he's ever wanted to marry in his 34 years on the planet. He told me that he has never regretted anything in his life, but he regrets what he's done to our relationship. I mustered up all the strength I could, and I put an end to it. Too little, too late. He pushed me away too much and said too many hurtful things to me. Like I said in my last post, I'm sure that a part of me will always love him. He was right when he said that we had (he used the word have) a really strong emotional connection. I can only hope I can have that again with Work Guy. Bottom line, our relationship was damaged to a point where, from my perspective, it is not fixable. I told him that, he told me he understood, but I know that he is hurting right now.

So I have a new boyfriend! Have I mentioned how amazing he is? He is so thoughtful and is a true gentleman. I love kissing him, I love spending time with him, he and my parents get along, and I get along with his parents! His son is adorable and I enjoy spending time with him too.

We spent New Year's Eve together and we had a total blast with his friends. I really like his friends (and he really likes mine too)! I know the midnight kiss is kind of a tradition, but I really think that this year's is symbolic. Out with the old, in with the new, I can't wait to spend 2011 with my new boyfriend. :)